Daughters Who Dare

Fill in the Cracks

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I can’t imagine that I am the only child who spent hours constructing the ‘perfect’ house of cards. It took patience, concentration and skill. Every time I found myself staring at a huge puddle of playing cards, I would become even more determined to make the next one stronger and more robust.
The more houses I built, the better my construction would become. It all boiled down to one thing…the foundation. In a very real way, these card houses remind me of a child’s foundation years. Parents have choices in the ‘building’ of their child’s foundation. I bet you can guess what mine looked like. But, it didn’t have to be a life sentence of gloom and doom. 
Throughout life, people have found me, our paths crossed, relationships formed and love was given/received. Each time that happened, the love began to fill in the cracks…making my foundation stronger and more resilient…making me who I am today.

A Fugitive on the Run

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I need to have a serious conversation with my body - especially my heart. We have had different agendas for most of my life. I have only ever wanted to live a happy, peaceful, fun-filled life. My heart, on the other hand, decided to turn things into a life-long game of cat and mouse…without a reason to run. Somehow, my heart has convinced me that I am a fugitive on the run. Why? I haven’t committed a crime!
For many trauma survivors, this battle is REAL. I have lived with this struggle all my life without understanding what it was and why my body was behaving that way. 
Sit back and learn what I discovered. 
Maybe you can stop running too.

The Tip of the Iceberg

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
One word that has been with me…every step of the way…is BELIEVE. It isn’t  just  about others believing me or believing in me, but is also about my journey of self-belief. I learned, early on, that trying to convince narcissistic parents to see the real me and recognise my truth was a hopeless cause. I had to look outside my given family to find those willing to listen. When people responded with doubt, needed proof or offered patronising solutions, I shut down. Eventually, I found those trusted souls who listened, accepted and believed.
Be that person.
Be the one who believes.

It’s MY pen, MY ink, MY paper

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
We all have a story to tell. 
But, that doesn’t mean we HAVE to tell it.
Some stories have been written and never told…ever. Some have been told to a few trusted souls. And, some have been shared publicly, having been documented in print and/or on the screen.There was a HUGE shift in my life when I realised that I get to choose my own narrative…when I acknowledged and believed that it is MY story to tell and only I get to hold the pen. Some of you may be thinking, “Isn’t that obvious? Of course it’s yours!” I hear you. I understand your confusion.In my defense, my life story didn’t always feel like mine. At times, others took the pen right out of my hand, created their own plots, fabricated their own version of events and sprinkled the pages with their lies.
Not any more.
I am the one and only author of my story.

I Hold Mine Close to My Chest

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I believe everyone has one.
I say one, but, make no mistake. That one can encompass a minefield of things.
They can be played…and, goodness me…are they played! But, the many facets of who, why and when they are laid on the table can make all the difference.
Ironically, we don’t often see them. If we stood in a large circle in a room full of friends and strangers - and threw them all into a huge pile - I would dare say we would struggle to match each one with its corresponding owner… whether we knew each other or not. 
What am I talking about?
You’ll just have to listen to find out. 

LOOK AT ME NOW!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
We all have a mountain to climb.
I feel like I am on the top of the mountain-the same mountain I have been climbing all my life. I look down and see many more climbers - all doing their best to overcome obstacles, face their demons and beat the odds, while demonstrating resilience and determination. I find myself shouting words of encouragement and affirmation - wanting each climber to believe…to hope…and dig deeper when they feel discouraged. I wish I could just throw them a rope - a lifeline of sorts - and pull them up with me…saving them the pain, frustration and heartache…but, I can’t.
We all have a mountain to climb.
We can do it! We’ve got this!
Look at us now!

Pick a Card, Any Card

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Ever since I can remember, I have been an inquisitive person. Call me Nancy Drew. (just like the fictional character in those books written by Carolyn Keene and others)
When I began to recognise how different my mom was and, more importantly how different she was treating me, I wanted to know WHY. But, unlike Nancy’s, my investigation couldn’t be solved. Instead of clarity and clues, I ended up collecting more confusion. The biggest problem was, I didn’t know what I was looking for. Most children would have asked their parents for help. That wasn’t an option. 
One thing was for sure, my mother’s narcissistic traits were only one spoke of her wheel of maternal madness. I had to identify, decipher, cope with and attempt to understand all of her spokes at once. I couldn’t just pick one.
What would Nancy do?

I Kid You Not!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
When most people think of their childhood fears, many lists would include monsters, ghosts, spiders and being in the dark. But, depending on anyone’s particular childhood experience, there may be a specific item that does not appear on anyone else’s list.
I have one such item.
For most of my life, I kept my greatest fear to myself, hoping and praying that it would never come true. 
It all stemmed from one question, “Who is going to believe me, anyway?” It is only when I found someone who believed me…truly believed me AND in me…that I could erase that fear from my list. Next item-frogs.

GIVEN OR CHOSEN: WHO SITS AT YOUR TABLE?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Most often, when we attend a wedding, we have no say in the seating arrangements. As a result, many of us have spent entire days making small talk and experiencing awkward gaps in conversations. Weddings only last a day. Phew!Life can be cruel. For nearly half of my life, the people who sat at my table were GIVEN to me. If I was surrounded by strangers, the alienation and loneliness would have made sense. I always showed up - whatever the event - and I was showing up alone. In order for things to change, I had to take ownership of my table. Name cards were removed. Each new card was written by me as each guest was CHOSEN by me. Now, when I come to the table, I see those I chose to be with. I no longer allow life to make the seating arrangements. I hold the pen.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Can we talk about voices?
How often do we stop and think about how much voices matter in our lives? It would be safe to say we all have certain voices we long to hear, while others we dread hearing…even for a moment. Whether those voices are heard - literally - or can only be heard in our minds, they can turn our world upside down. Sadly, for children of narcissistic parents, time nor distance can MUTE the undesired, uninvited, hurtful voices. However, there is one, HUGE, silver lining. The words will be heard but don’t have to be believed.  I still hear my parents’ voices - inside and out - but I don’t believe a word they say.