Daughters Who Dare

There Isn’t Enough Money in the World!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
 
This will come as no surprise!
No matter where we turn, there are countless injustices in the world. Whether we are walking down the high street in major cities, turning on the news or scrolling on our phone, we are bombarded with many examples of injustice.
All of the scenarios I mentioned are injustices that are happening around us. They are external. We do have the luxury of closing our eyes, burying our head in the sand or living in a bubble if we want.
But, what if the injustices take up space in our mind - our heart - and our body? What if we aren’t given the luxury of escape? What if the injustices aren’t things we have seen, read or heard, but have experienced for a lifetime? What if those injustices were committed by those who should be protecting us? What if we are the children of those who inflict those many injustices?
We have no choice but to learn to live with it. Where is the justice in that?
Well, I will tell you.
My justice is my life.
My justice is the woman I have become and continue to become.
I win!

Are You my Mother?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
One of my favourite childhood books was written by Dr Seuss. I remember it being both endearing and hilarious. A baby bird falls out of the nest and begins a quest for his mother. Along the way, he asks a kitten, a cow, a plane, a tugboat and a digger. As he confronts each one, he asks, ‘Are you my mother?’
I didn’t fall out of a nest, but I did go on a quest of my own. However, the question I asked sounded a bit different. I would look at my mom and say, ‘How could you be my mother?’
I knew what kind of mother I imagined and mine was nothing like her. That reality and the utter disappointment that came with it didn’t prevent me from pursuing and fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a mother. For the past 30 years, I have been living my dream and have completed my quest. I couldn’t (and can’t) change the mother I have, but I chose to become the mother I had always imagined. 
 

Grandparents Who Dare

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
When I think about my grandparents, I am amazed at their choices…their actions…their words…and their gift of being truth seers.
What I love about those who dare, including my grandparents, is that there isn’t one script, one method or one set of rules. Those who DARE can look very different and sound very different.
The way my grandparents DARED looked very different to mine. But, because they did, I had bucketloads of HOPE. As I have said before, “Where there is love, there is hope.”I may be a daughter who dares to speak my mind, who is prepared to confront my narcissistic parents, and who isn’t willing to sacrifice who I am and what I believe.
That may not be how you choose to dare.
That’s ok. 
You do you.

Fill in the Cracks

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I can’t imagine that I am the only child who spent hours constructing the ‘perfect’ house of cards. It took patience, concentration and skill. Every time I found myself staring at a huge puddle of playing cards, I would become even more determined to make the next one stronger and more robust.
The more houses I built, the better my construction would become. It all boiled down to one thing…the foundation. In a very real way, these card houses remind me of a child’s foundation years. Parents have choices in the ‘building’ of their child’s foundation. I bet you can guess what mine looked like. But, it didn’t have to be a life sentence of gloom and doom. 
Throughout life, people have found me, our paths crossed, relationships formed and love was given/received. Each time that happened, the love began to fill in the cracks…making my foundation stronger and more resilient…making me who I am today.

A Fugitive on the Run

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I need to have a serious conversation with my body - especially my heart. We have had different agendas for most of my life. I have only ever wanted to live a happy, peaceful, fun-filled life. My heart, on the other hand, decided to turn things into a life-long game of cat and mouse…without a reason to run. Somehow, my heart has convinced me that I am a fugitive on the run. Why? I haven’t committed a crime!
For many trauma survivors, this battle is REAL. I have lived with this struggle all my life without understanding what it was and why my body was behaving that way. 
Sit back and learn what I discovered. 
Maybe you can stop running too.

The Tip of the Iceberg

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
One word that has been with me…every step of the way…is BELIEVE. It isn’t  just  about others believing me or believing in me, but is also about my journey of self-belief. I learned, early on, that trying to convince narcissistic parents to see the real me and recognise my truth was a hopeless cause. I had to look outside my given family to find those willing to listen. When people responded with doubt, needed proof or offered patronising solutions, I shut down. Eventually, I found those trusted souls who listened, accepted and believed.
Be that person.
Be the one who believes.

It’s MY pen, MY ink, MY paper

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
We all have a story to tell. 
But, that doesn’t mean we HAVE to tell it.
Some stories have been written and never told…ever. Some have been told to a few trusted souls. And, some have been shared publicly, having been documented in print and/or on the screen.There was a HUGE shift in my life when I realised that I get to choose my own narrative…when I acknowledged and believed that it is MY story to tell and only I get to hold the pen. Some of you may be thinking, “Isn’t that obvious? Of course it’s yours!” I hear you. I understand your confusion.In my defense, my life story didn’t always feel like mine. At times, others took the pen right out of my hand, created their own plots, fabricated their own version of events and sprinkled the pages with their lies.
Not any more.
I am the one and only author of my story.

I Hold Mine Close to My Chest

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I believe everyone has one.
I say one, but, make no mistake. That one can encompass a minefield of things.
They can be played…and, goodness me…are they played! But, the many facets of who, why and when they are laid on the table can make all the difference.
Ironically, we don’t often see them. If we stood in a large circle in a room full of friends and strangers - and threw them all into a huge pile - I would dare say we would struggle to match each one with its corresponding owner… whether we knew each other or not. 
What am I talking about?
You’ll just have to listen to find out. 

LOOK AT ME NOW!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
We all have a mountain to climb.
I feel like I am on the top of the mountain-the same mountain I have been climbing all my life. I look down and see many more climbers - all doing their best to overcome obstacles, face their demons and beat the odds, while demonstrating resilience and determination. I find myself shouting words of encouragement and affirmation - wanting each climber to believe…to hope…and dig deeper when they feel discouraged. I wish I could just throw them a rope - a lifeline of sorts - and pull them up with me…saving them the pain, frustration and heartache…but, I can’t.
We all have a mountain to climb.
We can do it! We’ve got this!
Look at us now!

Pick a Card, Any Card

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Ever since I can remember, I have been an inquisitive person. Call me Nancy Drew. (just like the fictional character in those books written by Carolyn Keene and others)
When I began to recognise how different my mom was and, more importantly how different she was treating me, I wanted to know WHY. But, unlike Nancy’s, my investigation couldn’t be solved. Instead of clarity and clues, I ended up collecting more confusion. The biggest problem was, I didn’t know what I was looking for. Most children would have asked their parents for help. That wasn’t an option. 
One thing was for sure, my mother’s narcissistic traits were only one spoke of her wheel of maternal madness. I had to identify, decipher, cope with and attempt to understand all of her spokes at once. I couldn’t just pick one.
What would Nancy do?