Daughters Who Dare

This Doesn’t Get Easier. You Get Stronger

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
FACT:  Some things in life DO get easier. Being a child of narcissistic parents isn’t one of them. Sorry. 
Time, experience, learned wisdom and repetition can make learning a skill, raising a child or facing a tech demon not only bearable but - dare I say - easy. The same can not be said for these unique family relationships. This doesn’t get easier.  You get stronger. In spite of it all, you can choose positivity, hope and happiness. You can engage with the world wide community, hearing other stories, collecting strategies and sound advice, all while being reminded that you are not alone. While I had to muddle alone, this generation has the internet at their fingertips. Seek, share, listen and learn.
Together we can change this from mission impossible to mission possible.
 

Don’t Panic! It’s Just a Warning Light.

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Life sends us ‘warning lights’ from time to time. Their intended purpose is to give us a gentle nudge, reminding us that something may need a bit of attention, a tweak, a ‘topping up,’ or a few new questions answered. I try not to panic each time one appears, but I often do. When they light up on my dashboard, I speed dial the garage. However, when my heart acts as a dashboard, I ‘pull over,’ immediately addressing the doubts, the questions, the what ifs, the choices I made, the person I’ve become. 
Most days, I coast along. But, as I am a mere human, there will still be panic moments. I must remind myself that it is just a warning light. I’ve got this. 
From now on, I promise to give myself grace.

Were They Absent On That Day?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
No matter how little my grandparents had in their childhood (more than 100 years ago), there was one thing they definitely DID HAVE - a sense of right and wrong.
As discussed in previous episodes, one element of narcissistic parenting that will NEVER be understood is their ability to cheat morality…even though it has been around since the beginning of time.
The conclusion I have drawn is not only were they absent the day it was taught, but, while playing hooky, they wrote their own ‘moral code.’
When I look at my notes, I am reminded that if I do it once, it is a mistake. If I do it more than once, it is a choice. Their notes, however, make no sense at all.
I am left with many questions, but at least I know the difference between right and wrong. They don’t. Those poor, unfortunate souls.

All I Want For Christmas Is…

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Unless you grew up under a rock, every holiday comes with a huge bubble of expectations…like one of those massive balloons filled with confetti. But, as a child of narcissistic parents, the mere mention of holidays can cause anxiety, fear, stress, worry or dread…all of that just in the lead up to the big day…in the ‘sleeps’ before it’s finally here.
Most of the holidays are like speed bumps. We are expected to slow down, acknowledge that they are here and get over them without much effort. But, Christmas is definitely in a league of its own. For many, it becomes a survival game rather than a reason to celebrate.
All I want for Christmas is for you to hope, believe and celebrate. I want you to know the magic that you deserve.

No Cape - No Problem

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
The bottom line is… I could have become bitter. (I suppose there’s still time. ha ha) Instead, I chose to become better…a choice I have made over and over again. How? I have acquired ‘super powers.’ Okay. I’m not invisible, nor can I fly, but I can detect a lie from miles away. BAM! And, I am fearless in the presence of my enemies. KA-POW!
Although I have plenty of reasons to become bitter, I used my homegrown ‘super powers’ to focus on the things and people I do have and chose to develop the goodness within. Was it easy? Hell no! Was it worth it? 100%.
How did you escape the bitter bullet?

Were Mine Drawn With Invisible Ink?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Instead of acknowledging and respecting boundaries, narcissistic parents move them, swap them, erase them, ignore them or create something new in their place…all to suit their plans…their strategies…their needs.
Boundaries aren’t invisible lines. They help us establish respect and trust, as well as create a safe space. So, when lines are crossed - emotionally and physically - trust can diminish or disappear altogether. As a result, nothing is sacred and nowhere is safe. That’s why I’m convinced that, as a child of narcissistic parents, my boundaries must have been drawn with invisible ink. How else could I explain why they didn’t see them?

Let’s Make a Big Splash

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
This episode is about daring…daring you to make hard and unpopular choices. Keep an open mind. I want to encourage you to go ONE STEP FURTHER. As I am not walking your journey, I don’t know what your one step further looks like. Take a moment to look at your current situation. Is there one thing you have been wanting to ask, say or share? What has been holding you back?
In my mind, there are various ‘levels of dare.’ Each one takes courage and each one can be considered its own win. When we are ready and able to conquer all three levels - see it, prepare it and do it - we make a BIG SPLASH!
Come on! Let’s make a big splash together!

Begging Wasn’t My Best Look

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
For most of my life - if not all of it - I felt like I was begging to belong to my own birth family. Sounds crazy…I know. Whilst begging, I was searching for answers. “What was wrong with me? Why was I difficult to like? Why was I impossible to love?” Instead of answers, I got sarcastic remarks, humiliating scenarios and more reasons to ask those questions.
Over time, I learned to deal with my own rejection, but nothing could have prepared me for the transfer of negativity to my children. They were treated differently purely as a by-product of being related to me. It demonstrates just how much power narcissistic parents have.
Am I still begging? NO. Why? Because I do belong. I belong to my own tribe of 5+3. My begging days are over.

It’s the Longest Egg and Spoon Race

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
At times, I feel like 5 year old me, standing at the start line of the Egg and Spoon Race. The difference is, I am no longer carrying a raw egg, but rather my trauma, which often makes me feel fragile, vulnerable and easy to break. I carry it with due care. I must carry it alone. I mustn’t drop it until the finish line. So far, my race has lasted nearly 60 years. Unlike 5 year old me, I can step back and see the bigger picture. When I am given the luxury of time, head space and the room to process, I can eventually see the humour where it is acceptable.

No Room For Guilt

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
As a confident, articulate child of narcissistic parents, I open the door - wide open - during conversations about family relationships. The question I am asked the most is, “Will you feel guilty if/when your parents become ill or when they die?” My answer is always the same. “There will be no room for guilt.” Will there be tears? Most definitely…for all that could have been…under different circumstances. Instead of guilt, I will experience peace (as I already do), knowing that I did everything I could.