Daughters Who Dare

So Many Missed Memories

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Why is it that, in the English language, there aren’t more words for grief, especially since there are so many different kinds?
As a child of a narcissist, I refer to the most difficult, confusing, inexplicable grief as missed moments. That grief stings the most because a) the other person is still alive b) the other person is cognitively aware of their actions and c) I had to watch my parent create memories with other people…three of whom were my siblings.
Knowing and accepting the fact that I was stuck with my narcissistic parent was my first real experience of grief…a grief I have carried with me all my life. How I wish there was a word big enough to describe and explain that type of grief.

Say It... I Dare You!

Say It…I Dare You!
Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Cliches have a lot to answer for. Although they usually come from a good place and are well-intentioned, they aren’t often received in the same way.
When I tell someone that I no longer have a relationship with a family member, I brace myself and wait for them to say, “Life is too short.” I want to scream, “Too short for what?” but, instead I calmly reply, “It was a last resort. I have tried everything…absolutely everything.” Believe me.

Did We Grow Up In The Same House??

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
One of the reasons I started a Book Club over 20 years ago is because I love the diversity of perceptions and opinions. I find it incredibly fascinating that six people can read the same book and yet it often feels as though we met different characters and read different plots.
And, just like that, four children lived in the same house, raised by the same parents and yet, somehow, my story reads so differently to theirs. My siblings didn’t write a different story for me…my narcissistic parents did. As a result, I often look at my siblings and want to ask, “Did we really grow up in the same house?”

It Comes In Waves

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Some days, I wonder if I should have called this podcast “Daughters Who Are Terrified”rather than “Daughters Who Dare.” The fear is real…often too real. As a child of narcissistic parents, I have had to learn ways to face, jump, ride, manage and survive the waves, whether that was in tiny, trickling ones or waves that knocked me off my feet. Although I can disguise, delay and deny the fear…it doesn’t go away.
Let’s stand and face the waves together.

Three Strikes…You’re Out!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
 
There are many types of love language, but my favourite language is words of affirmation. Words matter, am I right? I appreciate the words, but, sometimes, I appreciate the underlying message even more. A simple baseball reference like,
“Three strikes…you’re out!” may seem silly and insignificant to others. But, in my case, I heard, “I see you. I hear you. I believe you. You are loved.” Those words of affirmation were life changing. I will never forget them.
I am a child of not one narcissistic parent, but three (hence the baseball reference). I may have struck out in the mother department, but I haven’t lost the game.

The Other Parent

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
 
When I told others that I was raised by a narcissist, they would often reply, ‘Well, at least you had two parents. At least the other parent was there for you.”
How I wish that were true!
How I still wish that was true!
One of the toughest pills I had to swallow was accepting the fact that both parents were equally responsible for their actions and choices. One parent will always be the narcissist. The other parent will never have my back.A sad truth, yet my truth nonetheless.

I'm Possible

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
How often do we take time to stop and reflect? It is not only important, but necessary to do just that. As the relationship between child and narcissistic parent lasts a lifetime (and beyond), those pauses can make all the difference. Every now and again, allow yourself the time.
Take a good look at who you are and just how far you have come. You did that! Be proud!

Sorry... Not Sorry

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
Forgiveness is hard to do, especially as the child of a narcissist. I was expected to forgive, yet the adult in the relationship could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t fair. So, I made the decision…a huge decision. I didn’t need to forgive them. Instead, I began to forgive myself.

Once You See It, You Can't Unsee It

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
I didn’t always use that word - narcissist. But, once I did, it stuck like a label on a pickle jar. For years, I would describe her in many words and give examples of her nasty behaviour and show the many scars I live with, but true clarity happened when I saw her for what she is. My eyes and ears were fully opened. Now, I can’t unsee it.

Keep Your Receipts

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.
One of the favourite things a narcissistic parent does is try to make you think you’re crazy. It doesn’t stop there. They need to convince others too. So, keep your receipts. Holding onto the truth, no matter the format, enables you to preserve your sanity. It sounds dramatic, but those reminders can be game-changers. They are proof. You aren’t crazy. They are.